Friday, April 28, 2017

spread the khayr

ive tried several times to write and keep a gratitude journal going. today we'll try again.

today the new inhabitants of the little blue house in tsk officially signed the tenancy agreements. i finished off work and got a good hour of salsation (ofcourse). so enroute back, i went to get my parking validated. and i had about a dozen (bakers dozen to be exact) of sushi king coupons which i knew i wouldnt be able to use before their expiry date in 2 days, so i gave it to the receptionist guys. they thanked me. (and semi flirted with me asking me for dinner haha smpt lg)

i then went to get my free drink at boost juice! they already changed their styro cups to cardboard, i dunno if its the right choice or not since watching that styro vs paper theory. anyway they had a new menu! and while i was trying to figure out what to order. actually i kept changing my order while considering whether or not to get the protein supreme or red royale. i managed to annoy the smoothie girl too. i donno what the equivalent of a barista is in juice bars. i finally settled on the protein option as i just had a work out. even tho i dont think i would go for another hour session later. she said the drink will take a while, why dont i have a seat.

(i actually wanted to redeem it last week but the shell branch ran out of original sized cups so it wont be worth the free drink. this time i managed to get the most expensive smoothie in the biggest cup. 7 more drinks to go till my next free cup, if i calculate correctly, it be about 9% discount on each of my drinks, as i usually order one that costs about rm 15, i think ill try another strategy and order the cheaper fruit juices. hm but i need my protein)

instead i went to look for the flash sales in cold storage. usually they have a table out for food expiring soon and it goes for way cheap. i walked around and he presto some waitrose smoked haddock were on sale for rm1 each! i basically cleaned them out. there was another lady beside me and split our loot. i walked away with 17 packs. my savings was rm263.33. they were mostly 12.49 each but 2 of them were actually rm31.49. i should be on extreme couponing but without the coupons. 93.9% savings woot!

i went back to pick up my drink and gave that annoyed smoothie girl some of my loot. she thanked me and wished me prosperity.

ok heres the real story i was in a rush and parked at the side of the road, coz my initial plan was to run in get my drink and run out. the stall was near the entrance. took longer than expected coz of my little detour picking up 2 plastic bags worth of frozen fish dinners. as i walked out, i was peering to see if there was any notices on my wipers, then i saw a police car! hahaha i was laughing in my head and grinned sheepishly at him. and i did a little jog to my car, he just parked in front of mine. he signalled its alright and said if i was 2 minutes late i wouldve got a ticket. i looked at the car behind mine, and his partner was busy writing out a little summons. huhu.


got home and salamed my parents before their journey back to kampung to their little bungalow there. sous vide-ed my smoked herring.

i wish i had pictures of everything, but my phone battery ran out. no charger. why its on here and not on instagram lol.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

when breath becomes air

when breath becomes air by paul kalanithi

i read the reviews of this book and expected to be moved crying my eyeballs out byt the end of it. i did not. maybe im just too hard right now. jaded. unmoved.

im just not at that place right now.

maybe its also the place where he was when he wrote the book.

i preferred the preface. i was close to tears during that, but saved it for the actual book. but i never got there. so im a bit disappointed as i already braced myself.

i thought i had a lot to write. but it was a while since i read the book. it was very memorable. i preferred the first part about how he has a double degree and ended up doing philosophy and later neurosurgery and how those two fiels connect. i love those kinds of concept. i can relate to that so much.

plus i knew of an palestinian who did a double degree in those exact fields. sadly she later dropped her medical degree. knowing her im sure she has an impact in her community.

Monday, April 17, 2017

yasmin mogahed note series: tests and forgiveness

i love metaphors to better understand the world and ustazah YM has done a wonderful job with this one.

when faced with a test there are several types of responses

1 anger

we become angry with God's decree. "how could you do this to me??!!"

the person becomes resentful. i understand its one of teh natural stages of grief as in the Kubler-Ross DABDA model. it is something you have to go through and as lng as you dont stay there too long its ok.

this type of response is akin to a baby receiving a shot. the only way the baby knows how to respond to it is to cry and wail about it. she doesnt care its life saving. she just knows at that moment in time. it hurts. bad

2 acceptance

this is another phase in the K-R model of grief. and its how a teenager receiving a shot would react. she knows the shot is needed. she knows its life saving. but her eyes still tear up. inside she still hurts a little. but her tongue doesnt utter anything against the one giving the shot. she knows that the reward for this is purification.

3 redha

this is the highest level. the reward for this is elevation in status with Allah. the person is grateful for the test!

this how an ill adult reacts to a life saving shot. shes just not concerned about the needle. she's just glad she got the medicine.

on a side note. it is always important to mention Islam doesnt allow oppression and in those instances, the oppressor should be stopped and steps are to be taken to ensure that it doesnt happen again in the future.

forgive what happened in the past. but dont let it happen again to you or other people in the future.

the only reason we forgive is because thats how we want Allah to treat us. so forgive. and be kind. and merciful. and everything else we expect of God.

"I am what my servants think of Me"

yasmin mogahed note series: emotions

its ok to feel. emotions are ok.

stop having feelings about feelings.

islam doesnt want us to become robots. maybe in asian culture youre supposed to be stoic and stern. especially the men. but no. its ok to feel

stop feeling sad about being angry. stop being sorry about everything.

here are some alternatives A Painless Way to Replace ‘I’m Sorry’ or the meme version on bored panda 

the prophet Yaacob A.S was so overwhelmed with sadness that he lost his beloved son Yusuf A.S that he became blind. his other sons were fed up with and said something to the likes of, cmon dad arent you over it yet, it was decades ago. the Prophet replied (yusuf:86)

"I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah , and I know from Allah that which you do not know"

so yes cry. wholeheartedly, towards God. the owner of the Hearts and emotions.

the wrong approach to this is the asian version, in which emotions are supposed to be suppressed. you are deemed weak if you show sadness. i once heard of the elders say that if you cry making a sound at a funeral the soul of the deceased will be tortured. thats a totally wrong interpretation of the hadith which prohibits professional wailers at funerals. as is the case in ancient arabs and also current chinese ones. the more people wail uncontrollably at your funeral the more loved you were.

when emotions are suppressed they are bound to come out one day. as in the case on the volcanic lava eruption. its unhealthy to bottle it up.

you have to go through the process. feel it. recognise it. let it wash over you. then let it go. let it out into the world.

the problem is if you stay there are loose hope and become in a state of despair.

tears are described as a sign of Allah's Mercy and gift. for in crying theres relief.

if you cant cry to God. cry because of that. cry that you cant cry over your sins.

dont let the world make you hard. stay soft.

yasmin mogahed note series: languages of love and personalities


i cant remember the frist time i stumbled upon this concept. i think it's an important one. you simply cannot have 2 very alim people trying to make it work when they dont talk in the same language. compatibility is a big must. so apart from the non negotiables, islam doesnt make us robots.

a famous story if of the two companions zayd and zaynab. they were the sahabahs mashaAllah. are they automatically meant to get along? they didnt. and they got divorced. and who did she marry afterwards? our Prophet s.a.w

our souls have met. as the hadith goes, souls are like conscripted soldiers. those who got along before, will instantly click in this life too. so people just dont get along. and thats just that.

as u can simply see in the link above there 5 languages. so all those memes about love is and so just isnt true for everyone. love isnt about only words/gift etc. it depends on who youre talking to. this doesnt apply to romatic love only. also to families and friends.

there s this couple i know of. the guy's language is giving gifts. he has learnt that behaviour from his social experience but thats beside the point. it is his language. his wife's language is quality time. so she spends her time planning vacations, and weekends and where to take the kids to. on those occasions they are on holiday, they go into a shop and he declares "dear please buy anything you want". she goes in, and comes out empty handed. there was nothing she felt like having. to him this was almost a rejection of his offering of love. she just couldnt see the point all this spending.

on another occasion, he comes back from a few days abroad and shows all the gifts he got for her and the kids. hes been away for a couple of days so shes keen to spend some time with him. theres a list of errands she says they could do together. hes tired, hes already showered them with love. suddenly one of his friends call to hang out. and hes out almost instantly. now its her turn to feel her offering rebuffed.

the problem is they dont talk in the other person's language. as she was telling me about this, i told her what the problem was. and as the book suggested, you have to offer love in that person's language. not yours!

so give the gifts. say the words. spend the time. act devotedly. and tricky one : touch. only when whom and where approriate please. go hug your nieces pls.

go to that website to find out which your dominant language is. and do one for your partner. so you can talk in each other's language.

another aspect of it, is knowing you. what you can tolerate and what you cant.

so this is me. the most recent test i took. sometimes it changes it think. but its about this.

yasmin mogahed note series: hablana

this is from my fb posts

new arabic word i learnt over the weekend with YM: hablana.
Gift us. its from the same root as hiba. (yes agent hibah sekalian knows it means gift)
anyways, a Gift is given out of generosity of the Giver. you dont "deserve" it. We are asked to ask for it. “Our Lord! Grant unto us spouses and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous. (Rabbana hab lana min azwajina wa dhurriyatina qurrata a`yunin wa’j`alna li’l muttaqina imama)” [Qur’an, 25:74]
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَاماً
so if youre given a gift, its not because you deserve it. its out of the generosity of the giver, with His Knowledge to to whom he sees fit. just because you didnt get a gift, it doesnt mean you are undeserving either. Allah knows best. so, this worldview applies when you see others without a gift (be it children, spouse etc.)
So ask for the Gift, and show Gratitude. Make us among the mutaqin.

yasmin mogahed note series: what to look for and some red flags

this is from my fb posts

YM on Love and Happiness
red flags:
1 avoid manchilds. low EQ. emotionally immature. not ready. yes they come in womangirl forms too.
2 look at their friends. "you are the deen of your 5 closest friends"
3 weed out the chitchatters who chat just to stay entertained. involve the wali from the outset.
look for:
1 compatibility. big must. souls have met before. they instantly click. some are just not meant to be together.
2 the praying type. yes its still a thing
3 how they treat their family
dont marry potential.
remember the story of Hajar, who is relentless in her search of the water and finds empty peaks. several times

read this up

yasmin mogahed note series: YM's prescriptions

this is from my fb posts

Yasmin Mogahed's adzkar challenge aka prescription:

1 Solah (obligatory prayers)
2 Adzkar (rememberance of Allah)
3 Quran
Yup guys it's back to basics, there's no use talking about highly technical Fiqhy issues when the foundations are shaky. Start a bullet challenge leading up to Ramadhan to do all these 3 things in a day.

If you dont pray, Pray. if you do, do it on time. If you do increase your Khushook.

Do as many Zikirs as you can throughout your daily acitivities. Every dunya action is anchored to the akhirah. i love this concept of pinning down the seen world with the unseen. Very interstellar like. haha someone will get mad for that reference. Anyway more practical steps: Download the app myduaa (…/myduaa-fortress-of-…/id509443220…) if you dont have the hardcopy of Fortness of a Muslims. Fortify yourself. Close any doors to shaitan. Open the doors to Goodness and ease. Try to do as many as you can. The above prescription applies to dealing with hardships, loss, finding happiness and love.
I'll share more. but this is more for me than you. Her newly launched book is great. Cover and concept by Peter Gould. ofcourse.

roster tutorial

i found an old post i did during my last posting during ho. i was trying to figure out how to use excel at work. but it published as if i just wrote it now. its not, its actually from years ago. ddnt figure out how to do a retro post until just now

salam everyone, thought i would share what i learnt on how to make rosters, my last posting was A&E, which had a shift system, now applied to all housemans across all departments all over malaysia.

i knew there must be an easy way to get the job done without recalculating how many people were on duty that shift. i re-learnt a lot of things on excel.

1) first what you need to know is how to use the formula COUNTIF
useful for both in column (vertical) and row (horizontal) modes. in the column, its used for calculating how many people are working that shift. so we take the A&E schedule as an example. we can see that at the bottom of each column excel calculates how many people are working the AM, PM and DS. you can extend this further to calculate those who are on leave and have the day off.

back to the formula type "=COUNTIF" in the formula box and then fill in the range and criteria

the range is where you specify where the computer has to count your criteria, just highlight the area you want counted

the criteria is what the computer has to look for. it is capsensitive. so this is useful in departments who differentiates AM and am shifts to mean different things.

so for example to calculate how many people works double shift on the first saturday the formula should look like this


and so on, just copy the formula for subsequent shifts and then change the criteria. then copy across, for excel to copy the formula into the subsequent boxes.

you can use this in the rows to calculate how many shifts a ho works in a week

2) with the new requirement that each ho works at least 60 hours a week, you can use the COUNTIF formula in the rows.

its a new year! 2017 hey

so it has become a thing, i post about a year apart now. except 2013. gosh i wonder what happened that year lol. hahha. anyway. even though i used to do it frequently. read: med students days. that was another blog. very emotional. full of things i dont even remember about now. this one started during ho hey days. but i couldnt really write anything for p&c reasons. my live revolved around patients. their problems, and how they troubled me lol. those days are over. alhamdulillah

so now im back to me. heh.

i just got back from a Yasmin Mogahed book launch over the weekend. i needed this monday to recover. it wasnt just the YM event. saturday morning i had an aerial yoga session. it was super tiring. im still sore today (doms setting in day 2 and i can still feel it).

Aerial yoga: we used to have it weekly at the previous studio. but now its a one off thing. so due to popular demand, SisSado held one. there was only 5 slots. it focused on the glutes. Gluteus Medius to be exact. and boy do they hurt right now. need a heavy dose of deep tissue massage. my upper chest, ribs and arm also hurt. huhu. dem pull ups!

the next day i went to a hip hop cardio/ujam class. it was a great class hip hop cardio by hazmiflip  and ujam by zarela at United V Jam.

ok back to YM. alhamdulillah i got to attend both sessions. the first was silver linings. it was about how to deal with life in general and specifically hardships. the second day was about love & happiness. she just lanched a book of the same title.

i met ustazah hamidah and her two beautiful daughters. now dah besar. i can imagine those people who were my mums college friends in australia meeting me all grown up remember how i was a baby then. thats how i was with ustazah's kids hehe.

ill be posting up my notes from both sessions in a separate post coz. coz i have an errand to run right now. some one is renting out my place! dazeahome has a tenant yay. its a nice young couple expecting a baby soon! they are due anytime now. Allah is the best planner. i loved that i got them as my first tenant. so installing the hot shower. and few other furnitures to move and inventory list to do before handing over their keys.